• Cheater’s Guide to Baseball

    I can't help but recommend this book to anyone and everyone who likes baseball... and even those who really don't. A funny book about all the cheaters in baseball? What can be better than that during the steroid era?

    Pre-order your copy of Cheater's Guide to Baseball by Derek Zumsteg of USSMariner.

All I Want For Christmas

Posted by Jason A. Churchill on December 24, 2006

Whether you celebrate Christmas or Channukah (the “c” is silent, or so says Adam Sandler), Kwanzaa, or even Dia de Navidad, it’s that time of year.

If Santa was real and you could wish for anything in the world, what would it be? Well, that’s easy for most. Peace on Earth, Solve the issues concerning the homeless and starving in our own country as well as all others, good health to all, blah, blah, blah.

All great thoughts and more meaningful than anything else I will speak of this morning. (yes, it’s 2:47 AM on Christmas Eve, and I’m up thinking about baseball. Someone lock aim and fire, will ya?)

Personally, I’d wish for my family and friends to live happy, healthy lives and for the planet to somehow see eye to eye on everything.

I’d also wish for lots of cash to fall through my chimney tonight so I can take care of some of the above on my own, and of course pick up a new laptop in the meantime.

I’d also wish that traffic went away, the ticket prices in the NFL and NBA were more reasonable and that Bill Simmons would write a colun each month about his favorite movies, sports related or not.

I’d love to see the rain let up here in Seattle before mid June and for Christmas morning to be white with snow… just for the day.

I also wish I could wake up to Kate Beckinsale lying under my tree, lickin’ on a candy cane.

But as I digress, I do wish for the Seattle Mariners to be a solid, intelligent franchise who showed patience, elegance, desire and innovation.

I wish for Felix Hernandez to stop eating syrup-covered pasta in January rather than April, and for the King to find his command – and keep it for the next 15 years.

I wish for Adrian Beltre to put up consistent numbers, even if in the end it’s the same year-long result as 2006. No more months of sub-.600, eh, pal?

I wish for Ichiro to just play ball and not worry about covering for his teammates.

I wish for a clue, so I can give it Mike Hargrove. The next one he finds will be his only.

I wish for Horacio Ramirez to remain healthy – it’s the only way the club can get anything of value in return for Rafael Soriano, one of the very best setup men in baseball.

I wish for the front office to stop rushing the kids. They probably already ruined Tui’s career, and Rob Johnson isn’t far behind.

I wish for two more miles per hour on Travis Blackley’s fastball. Sitting at 88 gives him a shot.

I wish death to the win column for the Oakland A’s and LA Angels. May they forver be stuck deep in loss city.

I wish Mariners fans were all as intelligent and passionate about winning as the blogosphere in this town. Maybe then, the suits and FO would be held accountable.

I wish Chris Snelling was still a Mariner.

I wish Miguel Batista was not.

I wish a certain scout friend of mine was employed by the Mariners.

I wish the Mariners would trade Richie Sexson already. Punt, Howie, it’s fourth and forever and your quarterback is Kelly Stouffer and your best receiver is Jerramy Stevens.

I wish I too had a remote control that could fast forward, rewind and pause real life situations. I’d certainly abuse that magic, and the Mariners would come out ahead, trust me,

I wish I had 10 hours to spare, so I could sit and watch all five Rocky movies, available free with On Demand.

I wish I had three REAL wishes.

One would certainly be for World Peace and Good to health to all, of course.

Another would be for the friggin Mariners to turn this ship around.

It’s about time some of the moves the Mariners make just happen to pan out. The last time something worked out for the hometown nine was when? The 2004 signing of Raul Ibanez? Since then, deals such as Beltre, Sexson, Washburn, Spiezio, Aurilia and Everett don’t look so good.

The trades to acquire Eddie Perez, Ben Broussard and Horacio Ramirez aren’t bragging material. Bill Bavasi has been terrible overall. Even when the chips turned up blue, such as the Freddy Garcia trade and the deal involving Randy Winn, it ends up being some other club’s shade.

The Seattle Mariners have not acted like a baseball team since 2002. They’ve operated solely like a business, where money is the ONLY object.

I just wish Seattle had a baseball team.

Ah, heck, I’m not going to waste my last wish on the Mariners. They’d still probably find a way to screw it up. Either that or bad luck would slap them in the face again.

All I really want for Christmas is for my Dad to take me to see Rocky VI, no matter how terrible it may turn out to be, and buy the popcorn and soda… just like he did so many years ago when the rest of the series’ chapters were released.

Happy Holidays Everyone.  And when I say everyone, I truly mean that for everyone.  Logan at revolution, Willmore (who think i dislike him – I do not), Lance2, all included.

Stay safe and enjoy the holiday.

Advertisements

68 Responses to “All I Want For Christmas”

  1. Seatown4Life said

    JAC, the new rocky is good. Not great, brings the same Rocky feel and emotion. Oh yeah, they act like Rocky V never happened. Good flick and god bless.

    ST4L

  2. Tom2000 said

    Jason,

    Happy Holidays!

    And I don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but you have a better chance of finding Kate Beckinsale under your tree than the Mariners have of turning it around this season.

    Tom

  3. Goose said

    I have to concur with ST4L. Rocky VI was actually pretty decent. It wasn’t near as bad as I expected it to be.

    I wish for a World Series in Seattle. I just want to be a part of one. I want to see Felix pitching game 7. And if there is any justice in this world, I want Snelling to be there too, even if it’s in the opposite dugout, with a National uniform on.

    A Seattle vs Washington World Series. That would be pretty sweet.

    Merry Christmas everybody.

  4. DiQ said

    Merry Christmas JAC and to all.

  5. Jerry said

    I wish that I had 10 billion dollars.

    I would donate most of it to a bunch to nice causes. But I would set aside 500 mil or so and buy the M’s.

    Then I would fire the whole front office unceremoniously, and bring in good people to turn the club around. But I would let those good people do their job, without having to deal with politics and BS from the new owner.

    I would raise the payroll to $120 million.

    And I would lower the price of Red Hook at the stadium.

    And to celebrate Santa’s birthday, I would send free season tickets to the M’s blogosphere.

  6. Orlandu said

    Merry Christmas everybody.

  7. 2quarters said

    If I had 10 billion dollars, Jerry, let’s just say that even Steinbrenner would be pissed off!;)

  8. SlackMan said

    Two questions.
    First, Jason, you mentioned that the M’s may have already ruined Tui’s career and that Rob Johnson isn’t far behind. What about Jeff Clement? It looks like they’re rushing him too. Do you think they will end up ruining his career?
    Also, I see why deals for guys like Beltre and Everett haven’t worked out but what’s the knock on Sexson? He’s put up some darn good numbers the past two years.

  9. angesbiz said

    Hi Jason

    I don’t know anything about the Mariners, but I do know that you have the universe as your catalogue of wishes and it is not limited to three!!! Be specific in what you ask for and believe you will receive it. Don’t worry about the “how” – that’s not up to you.

    Happy Holidays

  10. mariners said

    Merry Christmas and a happy year to you Jason.

  11. Lamda said

    Happy Holiday Jason and all. Good to wish for Kate now cause as the saying goes – English women don’t age well, lol.
    I wish Paul Allen or Billy would buy the M’s.

  12. I wish Kate would buy the M’s. Now THAT is a reason to go to the yard.

  13. marinermutt said

    Jason/Commish,

    Also wanted to wish you a great Christmas season. Everytime I log on to my computer, I try to stop by to see what is the latest info on the M’s. I appreciate the time you put out in giving out all us fans the latest news and insights. I’m sure this is like a 2nd job at times and very time consuming.

    Though the off season hasn’t gone like most of us has planned, there is always reason for hope. I can always hope and dream players play over their head and beyond our expectations.

    Besides, who thought Detroit would play in the world series last year at this time. Very few is any. So it can happen.

    Merry Christmas everyone and here is hoping for a blessed new year for all.

  14. Thanks everyone.

    Yeah, mutt, you are right. It’s not as bad as it could be, but knowing that the club is going to start all over in the FO is frustrating.

    Thanks to all and to all a good night.

  15. Willmore said

    Bavasi reading this post:

    C in Channukah is silent? I didn’t know. Dia de Navidad? I wish I took Spanish in high-school, probably something like Cinco de Mayo, I love a celebration of mayonnaise. If there was Santa. IF? IF? IF? Mommy, Jason says there may be no Santa !!!

    PS: Merry Christmas everyone, and I don’t think Jason dislikes me, at least not all the time.

  16. Willmore said

    Oh and if we’re going just for the looks, Kate has nothing on Adriana Lima, or Scarlett Johansson for that matter. And all five Rocky movies ? Come on. I’ll give you the first, and maybe parts of the next 2. But IV and V? If you want to spend quality time, find the entire “Yes, Minister” on DVD, it’s a remarkable look at the Seattle Mariners, if they were a government ministry in England about 20 years ago, it’s also very funny, in the British sort of way.

  17. Five sucked, four wasn’t bad at all.

    Kate is my girl, you can keep the brainless Scarlett, though she is hot.

    And no, I do not dislike you at all, Willmore.

  18. 2quarters said

    Carrie Underwood 🙂

  19. Willmore said

    I never said anything about brains 🙂

    If brains are involved, Natalie Portman would have to be up there, along with oh, Danica McKellar, Jodie Foster (in her prime) and maybe Kate Winslett.

  20. mariners said

    Candice Michelle 🙂

  21. Goose said

    Pfft, if your gonna go with hot wrestling chicks, yeah gotta go with Mickie James.

  22. dave said

    All five Rocky movies?? Where do I go on On Demand for this? I see Skinemax still has the Star Wars saga playing On Demand. Any clues??

  23. the FREE MOVIES section, Dave. Thats where all of the first five rocky flicks are on demand.

    And it don’t cost ya a freakin nickel.

  24. Haha, Willmore. Let’s not get carried away. The looks are more important, but Scarlett is too stupid to put up with.

  25. dave said

    Thanks Jason!!

    I bypassed that!! I had Rocky on Christmas list..glad I didn’t get, I need to re-record Stars Wars and then on to Rocky!! Sweet!!

  26. dave said

    On second thought..we don’t have..I have Cox Cable in the Norfolk/Va Beach area…they had “free movies” during Halloween but it doesn’t show up in the Main Menu or under Free Zone.

  27. Ahh, I’m on Comcast.

  28. Malcolm said

    Scarlett is hotter, but has weird fashion sense and often makes herself look way less attractive.

    I’d go with Alizee for the whole package of looks and voice.

  29. Goose said

    Personally if your gonna go with wrestling chicks, I’d go with Mickie James instead of Candice Machelle.

  30. Willmore said

    Wrestling chicks? How can there be any question? It’s Stacy Kiebler. The legs, the body, the face.

    So to create the christmas list:

    1. Dave, Jason and Jeff get really drunk one day and decide to split a lottery ticket, they win half a billion dollars and buy the Seattle Mariners. They sack Lincoln, Bavasi and everyone else they feel like, they hire intelligent people to do the jobs they are good at (I’m hired as a special assistant to the GM to make sure the new GM has no contact with Pat Gillick, Bill Bavasi, Lincoln and other undesirables). The Mariners enter a golden age.

    2. I win Stacy Kiebler in a “slave for a night” contest. 🙂

    3. A Wii, a PS3, and a 70 inch 1080p TV delivered to my place.

    4. World Peace, but if there are only 3 wishes available, leave World Peace out, let the world figure it out for themselves, there can’t be that many idiots out there, could there ?

  31. Allen said

    Jason – Was Randy Johnson anywhere on your holiday wish list and if so, what would you give up to get him?

  32. I wouldnt give up much to get him, but he does have some value. He can’t possibly be any more unlucky than he was a year ago and with just one year left on his deal, he actually makes sense for the Mariners.

    Questions are; 1) Can the M’s afford to match what AZ is willing to put up to get him, and 2) Would RJ have any desire whatsoever to come back here. Armstrong is still here, and he’s a grudge holder.

  33. Now that the Braves appear to be headed for a massive salary dump and bullpen overhaul, I wonder if Bavasi’s Soriano-for-Ramirez disaster looks even worse than it did before. With Tim Hudson and Andruw Jones now on the market for relievers and/or a young centerfielder, the M’s, had they been patient, could’ve gotten much more value in return for a guy like Soriano (who, for the record, I don’t think should’ve been traded in the first place).

    On that note, do you see the M’s trying to make another deal with Atlanta, or is Bavasi too scared to even call John Schuerholz after being burned in the earlier deal?

    Also, do you think Zito will have to settle for 4yrs and less money, or is there actually a team stupid enough to offer him $20M a year for 6 years? If Zito gets 6/120, would you consider that deal worse than the Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Lee mega-contracts?

  34. I dont see the Braves and M’s hooking up without a third team involved because the only guys that makes sense are LaRoche and Sexson and ATL would have no interest in Richie.

    No, Zito is gonna get 5+ and 16+.

  35. Nighthawk180 said

    Mlb.com is reporting that Zito will not sign with the rangers but some of their front office thinks that he will sign with the giants. Have you heard anything regarding zito and the giants? I never really thought that the mariners had a shot but just curious about zito’s future. It sounded like it doesnt have much backing except for the fact that he lives in San Fran.

  36. Alex said

    Jesus christ, 7 years – $126 million for Zito from the Giants!
    http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2710389

  37. Willmore said

    On a side-note, the Devil is looking to relocate citing climate change.

  38. 3rd Watch said

    Wow…that is alot of money for a guy who does not have dominiating stuff. I’m completely baffled by the off season signings. Hats off to Zito and Boras.

  39. Edman said

    I just LOVE the second guessing. The Braves haven’t done ANYTHING yet. It’s all rumors. And, are you trying to tell me they just NOW decided to adjust the finances?

    Give me a freakin’ break. You want to criticize Bavasi, be my guest. But, don’t start making crap up about what he could and couldn’t have done…..then treat it like somehow Bavasi didn’t make the best of a situation. Using useless rumors to decide what should have been done, is feable at best.

    Let’s not make stuff up, because it fits our needs.

  40. Edman said

    Sorry for the second post…..but it appears there may be a worse GM in baseball, than Bavasi. Funny, I remember a few years ago, Seattle fans going on about how we needed Sabean.

    Maybe there’s more luck to success than we like to believe.

  41. etowncoug said

    Edman# 40

    I dunno… Wayne Krivsey and Ken Williams also are fighting for that top spot as well.

  42. Adam said

    Ken Williams? You mean the guy who created the 2005 WS champs?

    Or is there another Ken Williams who I am missing?

  43. Ralph said

    The same Ken Williams who traded an excess outfielder for Jim Thome? Joe Borchard for Thornton? Claimed Bobby Jenks off waivers? Got Jose Contreras for Esteban Loaiza? Got Freddy for nothing? Hired Ozzie Guillen? Signed A.J. Pierzynski, Jermaine Dye, and Tadahito Iguchi? That’s already more successful free agent signings than Bavasi has.

  44. 3rd Watch said

    I’d have to agree. Kenny Williams has done well. He has kept the right prospects and his deals have paned out. He has a couple of things going for him: 1. A good minor league system 2. A roster filled with players that are producing 3. Excessive pitching that is signed to reasonable contracts. Kenny Williams and Bavasi have nothing in common. Until the M’s start to produce some young players that become solid big league players they will be on the other end of the barrel and will have to settle for H-Ram and risky free agents.

  45. etowncoug said

    The 2005 World Champs… I still can’t figure out how a team with Scott Podsednik starting in left field can win a World Series (who Williams traded for Carlos Lee).

  46. Kenny Williams has done a great job with the ChiSox — although the jury’s still out on the McCarthy deal he made with Texas last week.

    By the way, where does Zito’s deal with the Giants rank on the list of most overpriced contracts dished-out this offseason? I’d say top-3, maybe even all the way at the top.

  47. JH said

    ETownCoug: It’s pretty simple: He didn’t trade Lee for Podsednik. He traded Lee for Podsednik and the money to sign Iguchi and make other small moves that improved his ability to fill out a roster. Podsednik’s not particularly valuable, but the other moves he made were solid.

    Looking at it as a 1-for-1 move doesn’t tell the story of that trade.

    Edman – anyone who was pining for Sabean a few years ago is not a representative sample of this community of fans. His ability to ruin the long-term health of a franchise makes Pat Gillick look like Terry Ryan. If the team succeeds in the next few years, it will be because Sabean failed enough to luck into Lincecum and opened the purse strings for Villalona, not because he overpaid for a slightly above average starter.

  48. I think Zito’s deal is the worst. It has to be, since he’s a pitcher that has already shown decline.

  49. Willmore said

    I disagree, while the contract is crazy, Zito will perform. He will never be an ace (though in the NL, it’s not out of the question) but he will put up decent numbers. He will not be the next Chan Ho Park, for instance.

  50. the thing that worries me is…If Zito got 7/126…what will pitches like Carlos Zambrano and Johan Santana get in 2007-8, when they become FAs?

  51. SlackMan said

    Santana worries me most of all. The Twins NEED him in their rotation more than ever and I have a hard time imagining them paying that kind of money for him.

  52. If Zito got 7/126, Santana might be worth $22M/season, which is hard to fathom and even harder for the Twins to pay. No, wait, impossible for the Twins to pay.

    The question is, if Minnesota can’t re-sign Santana, is he available at the Deadline during the 2008 season?

    There’s rumors that if Carlos Zambrano gets an extension from the Cubs, it’ll be in the 7/126 range as well — meaning he could probably get more on the free agent market; SCARY.

  53. Zito will perform? But Soriano won’t?

    There’s more of a chance that Zito SUCKS in any and all of those seasons than Soriano.

    Not to mention get hurt.

    Giving a pitcher 7 years is preposterous because of the attrition rate attached to each and every starter no matter who they are. Paying a No. 3 starter 18 mil a year is just insane.

    To do both is criminal.

    Jail Sabean.

  54. Allen said

    While the Zito contract is reprehensible, the signing/trading for a mediocre at best pitching staff like Bavasi has assembled is just as bad if not worse.

    We can rail on Sabean but the fact remains that Bavasi, while not overpaying (although the Bautista contract is not good), is not putting the M’s in a position to contend.

    At some point, the M’s FO needs to take on more risk if they want to be a contender. If not, they should do a Marlins-like firesale and try to rebuild through the farm system. After all, how much further would attendence and revenues really fall?

    Seems like the M’s are lacking a clear direction and strategy.

  55. Goose said

    I don’t know if Zito would of made us a contender either.

  56. Sabean should’ve been thrown in jail after the Joe Nathan, Francisco Liriano, and Boof Bonser for AJ Pierzynski disaster a few years back.

    The Giants can’t find a closer and yet several current MLB closers were once with the Giants…

    If the Giants were so willing to overpay, why didn’t they keep Jason Schmidt or offer more money to Carlos Lee or Alfonso Soriano? Granted, those two deals were terrible too, but not as bad as this one. And Soriano/Lee would have helped the Giants more even though starting pitching was their most glaring need. SF is done unless Tim Lincecum goes through the minors quicker than his fastball and joins the rotation midseason. Yeah, right…and some people are saying Zito makes the Giants the favorite to win the West. I think he has a neutral effect on their chances this year and a hugely negative effect in the future.

    On a related note…

    Sabean vs. Bavasi — which GM is worse? Granted, the Giants did reasonably well under Sabean before, but how much of that was really his doing?

    Just wondering, who do you think is the best GM in baseball? My money’s on Mark Shapiro; maybe John Schuerholz or, maybe Kenny Williams.

  57. etowncoug said

    Kenny Williams near the top of the list for best GM’s in baseball…? He’s probably the 4th best in his division with the jury still being out on KC’s new GM.

  58. Gookie said

    at this point, was woody woodward seattle’s best gm?

  59. Goose said

    I like the work Josh Byrnes has done with Arizona so far(though I will like it less if this rumored Johnson deal goes through). He should probably be in the top 10 somewhere I think.

  60. Allen said

    I am not so interested in “who is the best GM” debate. I simply want the M’s FO to formulate and execute a strategy to become contenders. The FO lacks the guts to either truely rebuild or commit the $’s to bring in a top notch pitching staff.

    The middle ground approach hoping mediocre players all have a career year is stupid.

    Chuck Armstrong’s comments that he is comfortable that the team he has currently is competitive should be embarrasing to him and the rest of the FO.

  61. Willmore said

    Jason, Soriano is 30, Zito is 28. Soriano is signed until he’s 38, Zito – until he’s 35. I will grant you the horrible attrition rate for pitchers in general. However, lefties are often much more durable than righties, especially those that have pitched at least 6 years in baseball. Glavine, Pettitte, Leiter, Moyer, all have been successful into their late thirties. If Zito hasn’t broken down by now, chances are, he will have a long career. He’s not a power pitcher and should not wear down his arm as fast as, say, Felix will.

    Is 126 million a lot ? Hell yeah. Is 7 years outrageous for a pitcher, of course. But it does not mean that Zito will prove to be a horrible signing. For the team, he will be a #2, let’s not forget he’s in the NL now, that’s a lot of 6 inning outing and a free out in the 9-hole. He will fill in for Jason Schmidt, giving the Giants another workhorse that can go 200 innings and win 14-16 games. Is Zito overpayer, yes, but he is not going to be a bust. To be a bust he would have to post 4+ ERAs in his first years and break down before the contract runs out. And the chances of that are slim. Zito will probably have an average 3.5 ERA and lead the Giants to the mediocrity that they are entitled to.

    Soriano on the other hand will give the Cubs 2-3 years of quality production before his 40-year old body will just break down. His swing is way too explosive to preserve his shoulder for much longer, and the base-stealing will likely take its toll on his knees. I think that Soriano will be out of baseball by his age 36 season, and the cubbies will be happy to invoke the insurance policy and just go get someone else, by that time they will have a new GM.

    Any more question regarding the future, feel free to post them care of:

    Karnack the Magnificent
    Burbank, California.

  62. SlackMan said

    Is there a chance that teams will stop making such outrageous deals or is this offseason just a chilling vision of things to come? I would hope it would calm down some when these teams realize that they can’t be competitive financially, after making such signings. Any thoughts?

  63. One thing to remember in Cle is they have some of the worst owners in the game and they won’t spend any money.

    Not saying Shapiro is better than anyone in particular, and Ryan is sensational of course, but all things have to be considered, including the payroll.

  64. Just because Ryan has done a better job with less money doesn’t mean Shapiro hasn’t done a good job in Cleveland.

  65. nighthawk180 said

    Happy new year everyone!!!

  66. Happy New Year!

    Hope 2007 treats the M’s better than 2006…or at least that the M’s treat themselves betterin 2007 than they did in 2006…

  67. cuzoogle said

    I would also love to find Kate under my tree……better yet……under me!

    happy new year

    great list

  68. Did the Phillies make the postseason last year?

    Just checking.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: